What else?

I feel extremely broken. I want to get out of this town so bad. I dont really care if it seems like im running away. Im hurt by something petty. Im hurt by myself. Im hurt by life. And a huge part of me just wants to start over. My mom told me today that im an artist and i march to my own beat. I wanted to tell her how some times i wish i wasnt like that. I wish i could fit in and have people like me for who i am.
Im really struggling with the fact that so many people comment on what i look like. I dont wear enough make up or i need to wear a dress. those pants make me look fat. i need to lose weight, I need to learn how to style my hair differently. Can any one point out any more of my flaws? Im not a good manager i run away from things. i dont communicate very well. i mumble. What else? What else can you think of to bring me down just a little more? Why am i not good enough for you the way i am? Why do i have to do those things? Why cant you see ME for the person i am? There is so much about me that so many people just dont know. Ive come to terms that i dont fit in. I come to terms with so much that im different. But yet. it still bothers me it still gets to me. I still bugs me that so many people have so much to say about who i am and what i could be. I know you are trying to help me become better but have you ever thought about pointing out something then a negative thing? Have you ever taken the time to sit down and had a conversation with me about something other then your judgements about me? Im trying to be so strong. im trying to show that this shit doesnt bother me. its eating me away. i cant do it any more.